“
CARMEN
is the HOTTEST personality on
the L Word
.“

„she actually is my fantasy woman.“

„She Actually Is

therefore

sexy.“

“
Brittnay

you’re

a Carmen.“

„Yeah, totally.“

“
Zara
you’re not a Carmen. You are a
Jenny
.“

„Yeah, entirely. A

Jenny.

“

It was a scene at
Cubby Hole
not that way back when. I happened to be hanging around the bar with
Stacy
, Lauren, Nika, Armine and some different
„Cubby Hoes“
on a Monday evening. Brittnay, the mega-babe-with-a-heart-of-gold was actually bartending. She was actually using a loose loose-fitting rocker t-shirt and her black colored locks had been fastened into increased ponytail. She seemed casually hot as she slickly made everyone cocktails. She appeared effortless.

Very

Carmen.

We, however, had been wearing a not-so-effortless prairie dress. There is nothing effortless about a prairie dress. A prairie outfit contains the frustration of some girl’s party gown.

Glance at me! Examine myself! I have huge puffy sleeves and a smocked large throat and am long and loudly patterned! Provide myself provides and shower me personally with attention! Wah!

Not just had been I dressed in a prairie outfit, I happened to be wearing environmentally friendly locks extensions I’d thoroughly organized into tight french braids. We appeared to be I found myself stuck from inside the period of a childhood traumatization. Which, I’m sure Im, but like, perform we

truly

must (practically) put on that crap to my case?

What are which

otherwise

seems to be trapped into the chronilogical age of numerous a youth stress?
Jenny Schecter:
The smoothness through the L keyword that lesbians everywhere just like to detest. Jenny is in a number of sort of peter cooking pan collared get right up that shouts „i am
psychologically ill
!“ from rooftops, if you should be older than twelve.

We, as well, gravitate toward peter skillet collars. Sigh. Actually, most of my unhinged, sinful, challenging, slightly-psychotic-when-not-medicated-properly girlfriends do as well. It really is like dudes with tiny cocks exactly who drive loudly coloured sporting events vehicles to over-compensate due to their tiny dicks. Mature women who use peter skillet collars want to bedazzle by themselves with the maximum amount of faux-innocence that you can to help make up due to their dark colored, tarnished souls.

I do want to end up being a cool girl Carmen.

Carmen will be the opposite of
Jenny
, and therefore odd, brief time which they connected was actually so paradoxical I feared depends upon would short-circuit. Like, if cool woman Carmen and insane lady Jenny hookup will the Indigo women come-out as straight? Will Tegan & Sara begin putting on extended, shiny locks extensions? Will dykes trade in their particular U-Hauls for very long, acrylic nails? Before
Melissa Etheridge
collaborated with Brittney Spears, that event was disrupted by user
Shane
. That’s the additional thing that basically triggers me personally about Carmen. She ended up being the only real woman around that attained the ability to tame the blasphemous Shane. And it is here any such thing on the planet a lot more validating than being able to generate a serial slut yours and simply yours? The Jennys of the globe can only just catch a Shane through intense mental control. The Carmens snag the Shanes when you’re hot. As well as the conclusion the day, i am similar to any other standard bitch the master of one or more couple of Ugg shoes — i recently wish to be

hot.

And widely admired by all lesbians. And when we say all lesbians, What i’m saying is,

all

lesbians. Prim femme lesbians sweat bullets while in the world of Carmen’s hotness. Butch lesbians continue to be furiously masturbating over Carmen and it’s really been over a decade since she’s enriched lesbian displays. Stylish lesbians think of squatting alongside their within gymnasium.
Lipstick lesbians
are hopeless to understand what lip stick she wears. Chapstick lesbians need hit their perfectly hydrated lip area over the woman completely hydrated skin. Security shield lesbians desire to shield their. Lesbian DJs are convinced they

are

the girl.

Getting universally admired by all lesbians just isn’t a simple feat to pull down. Lesbians tend to be a wickedly particular type. „She’s too…freckle-y personally.“ „She wears jeans too much of the time, you are aware?“ „Her energy isn’t

hostile

sufficient in my situation.“ „Really don’t like blondes, they remind myself of my mother. She’s institutionalized.“

Seriously, whenever you date alike sex that you happen to be, your flavor becomes really particular. This is the only way to prevent your self from falling in deep love with all your friends.

But Carmen contains every what will widely wet the collective lesbian loins. She actually is a tomboy, whom wears loose-fitting jeans but nonetheless has long-hair (that you understand she doesn’t blow-dry. It really. Dries. Like. That). She drinks beer but still features visible abs. This lady has tattoos but once she smiles she nonetheless appears nice and rather. She’s sex-appeal

and

good-girl charm. She’s got viewpoints it isn’t generally furious or overly mental an individual challenges them.

She actually is your own cool directly girl companion that is

therefore cool

, she is in fact gay.

And I am extremely, wildly envious. Because despite the fact that You will find extended dark colored hair and bedroom vision, no one ever calls myself a Carmen. My greatest fantasy is someone somewhere will call myself a Carmen. It seems actually vulnerable to admit that, but it’s the facts. All i would like is going to be a female exactly who gets up-and goes to the gymnasium even though she actually is hungover, as you learn Carmen really does because the woman butt is really large it achieves the heavens and most likely hangs around with God. I do want to end up being a lady who’s accepted by stylish lesbians and lusted after by all of them. I do want to end up being the girl who are able to secure along the crazy booze-swilling slut. But i’ll never be that girl. Because i am an excessive amount of a crazy booze-swilling slut, myself personally. And ladies like Shane is able to see that in me personally and they operate for slopes because they crave a stability i am going to not be capable of giving them.

I’m never ever a Carmen therefore I dislike Carmen! I know it really is unfeminist to detest another woman because she’s prettier and cooler than you’ll actually ever be, but i cannot help it to.

Once I satisfy fellow Jennys call at globally, we instantaneously detest them as well. I might be more likable easily was actually the kind of girl which took pride in-being a Jenny and thought a kinship with other Jennys. But I do not. Once I meet additional Jennys it is like-looking inside the mirror and I also can’t stand the thing I see. But here’s finished .: i cannot repress my personal Jenny. She is a nut, but she is strong, like the majority of walnuts. The need to manically compose every little thing down, the truth that we appear great with bangs, the frantic electricity that radiates out of my personal sight, the magnetic draw toward Peter Pan collars — it could never be included. And a Jenny could put on Carmen clothing nevertheless make certain they are take a look gothic and gruesomely perverted. A Jenny may go towards the fitness center all round the day each and every day nonetheless rage with unreasonable feeling.

And so the just action to take is to accept the Jenny. Whenever they state in the bar, „Carmen is really hot.“ I shall not state foolish, transparently jealous crap like „I really don’t get just what fuss is?“ I need to will myself personally not to hate Brittnay if they say she is a Carmen, which can be unfortunate because Brittnay is much like slightly sis in my experience. A hot Carmen small aunt, and I’m the woman whacked-out Jenny huge sis, drinking wine within plunge club in a fucking prairie outfit.